Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Top 10 Hipster/Music Snob Records that Didn't Resonate With Me in the Year 2006

Here’s my list of 10 hipster cred albums that didn’t move me in 2006. These were loved by bloggers and tastemakers, but not by me. You say you love these albums? Well good for you. I’m sure you think my top 10 list is conventional and boring. I can live with that.

1) Joanna Newsom: Ys (Drag City) – This is a great album for pre-school children. Her voice is so precious; it reminds me of a bratty five-year old. Further proof? I love Van Dyke Parks’ work on Pet Sounds, but these days he mostly scores pre-school shows. Accolades? #5 best reviewed album of the year on Metacritic. Other Music’s best of. 9.4/10 on Pitchfork and #3 album of the year.

2) The Knife: Silent Shout (Mute) – If this is your album of the year, what kind of gay dance party’s going on over at your crib? I keed. I like guitar music; electro music feels so soulless to me. Other Music’s best of list. Urb’s top 10. 8.6/10 from Pitchfork and best album of the year.

3) Beach House: Beach House (Carpark) – The same people who love Grizzly Bear also seem to love Beach House. To me they’re pretty much polar opposites (other than a heavy dependence on Pro Tools). Grizzly Bear’s so busy it gives me a headache and Beach House is so empty it puts me to sleep. I like being rocked to sleep as much as the next guy, but this is ridiculous. Wake me when it’s over. Accolades: 8.1/10 on Pitchfork and #16 album of the year. Download “Apple Orchard” (courtesy of P-fork)

4) CSS: Cansei de Ser Sexy (Sub Pop) – If corporations are dumb enough to pay you $10,000 to play your IPod for a bunch of coked up, Sparks drinking, models, C-list celebs and advertising executives, then you’re excused for listening to this. Otherwise I just don’t get it. Accolades: NME’s #6. Download “Alala” (courtesy of Sub Pop)

5) Tapes ‘n’ Tapes: The Loon (Ibid) – This is a perfectly decent debut album from a perfectly fine regional band. One of your top albums of the year? You must have more of a stake in them than I do. I deleted most of the tracks off my MP3 player a long time ago. I can think of about a dozen local bands that sound similar and I like better. In a year with a lot of bands ripping off the Pixies, “Cowbell” is one of the best. Publications like Pitchfork will tear bands apart for being derivative, but then give certain insanely derivative bands a free pass. What’s up with that? Accolades: Other Music’s best of list. 8.3/10 from Pitchfork and #40th best album. Download “Insistor” and “Cowbell

6) Lily Allen: Alright, Still (EMI Int’l) – Of course the hyperbolic British press loves her, but US tastemakers do too? Honestly I don’t think this is that bad, but I only listen to it when my girlfriend makes me. It’s like the music equivalent of Fun Dip. Accolades: Other Music’s best of list. 8.3/10 on Pitchfork and #29th best album of the year.

7) Grizzly Bear: Yellow House (Warp) – I know it’s completely unfair to penalize a band for what is being written about them; however I really resent the comparisons to the Beach Boys. I guess the Beach Boys represent great harmonizers? Grizzly Bear’s more of a Pro Tools band. The layer on top of claustrophobic layer makes me feel like my head’s going to explode. And what’s up with that interview in Out Magazine? I really don’t care what he thinks are the best and worst countries to “slut around in” (for the record France is his favorite, while England is his least favorite). That said, I see why people like the record. If I spent a little more time with it I might come around. Accolades: Other Music’s best of list. 8.7/10 on Pitchfork and #8 album of the year

8) Beirut: The Gulag Orkestar (Bada Bing) – How am I going to rip a 19 year-old kid from Albuquerque who listened to a bunch of Balkan gypsy music and made an interesting record? Well, I’m not. I gave this one many listens (bought it on CD and vinyl) and tried to force myself to like it. Unfortunately it still leaves me a little cold. There are some really nice moments, but I usually forget about it about three minutes after I put it on. He’s got a bright future ahead of him and I’m curious to see what he does next. Accolades: 7.7/10 on Pitchfork. Download “Postcards from Italy

9) Hold Steady: Boys and Girls in America (Vagrant) – Once again, I’ve got nothing against these guys, I’m just a little surprised by the praise. I probably like classic rock more than you, but the praise makes me think of the Grifters (bar band that music snobs universally embrace). Remember the Grifters? Didn’t think so. Accolades: #13 best reviewed album of the year on Metacritic. Other Music’s best of list. The Onion’s #1 album. 9.4/10 on Pitchfork and 3rd best album of the year. Download “Stuck Between Stations” (courtesy of P-fork)

10) Man Man: Six Demon Bag (Ace Fu) – Honestly I’m too lazy to even download one of their tracks. Do you ever discriminate against a band just because of their picture? Accolades: Pitchfork’s 20th best album of the year.

20 comments:

Anonymous said...

ps. I bet you love m. ward, neko case and the decemberists

Passion of the Weiss said...

one of the funniest things you've written, the knife and the newsom one's had me laughing out loud...fantastic...is that grizzly bear thing for real...wow...guess that name makes a bit more sense now...

Wayne Massingham said...

i totally agree with your opinion on the knife, their music is just plain awful, but leave joanna alone, i love her and her music.

B. Michael Payne said...

What do you even mean by "pro tools band?" That's the silliest thing I've read all morning. You obviously know that the Beach Boys' Brian Wilson used every single fucking studio device at his disposal. You don't think he would have drove himself nuts even quicker if he'd had Pro Tools around with which to play?

Duke said...

these are all interesting artists; if they weren't i wouldn't have bothered to write about them or listen to their music (although i didn't bother to listen to man man).

anonymous #1 - i don't hold the OUT interview against grizzly bear, but i did found it incredibly vapid and silly. i respect them as musicians, but (as i mentioned) their record just makes my head feel like it's going to explode. m ward? great guitar player but the songs can be a tad dull. neko case? her songs with the new pornographers are fantastic, but i've never gotten into her solo work. decemberists? about 33% of their songs move me, but i wouldn't say i love them.

weiss - glad you got some enjoyment out of it. i know some of your favorites were on the list, but you recognized that it's all in good fun.

wayne - i just can't get over joanna's voice. it's unique. most people probably don't like it, but that 10% or so (like you) who do absolutely love it and defend her. that's admirable - she's obviously got a great connection with her fans. bratty (in my blurb) was the wrong word - i think precocious would have been better.

michael payne - touche. i pretty much agree with you. i had something similar in my first draft but deleted it and didn't end up expressing myself very well.

Passion of the Weiss said...

Yeah, I mean I love me some Beirut and Hold Steady, but you've earned your street cred to make fun of them....I agree with you 99.9 percent but its funny how sometimes individual tastes diverge even when they're so similar-seeming (for instance, i like but don't love the Beach Boys). So to each his own. Whoever Grizzly Bear's publicist is should not have let them do that interview. Not because they're gay (if that indeed was serious) just because you're right, they looked stupid in the interview. It's not like they're Art Brut, their music is not exactly humorous. It's weighty and heavy stuff and it makes it lose weight when they talk about which countries are best to slut around in.

Anonymous said...

I love The Grizz and Beach House records but this is still a pretty accurate post about bands that people take too seriously. Also, can I use the word "hateraid" from you anon #1?

Anonymous said...

anon #1 back up in this piece.

Seriously, the OUT interview is funny...what's the big deal.

Also, it wasn't meant to be read by non out readers, maybe straight guys just find their gay sense of humor stupid

I mean it's just a humorous dialogue. Nothing meant serious. That's my 2 cents.

I've read far more pretentious and damaging interviews conducted by Joanna Newsom and Colin Meloy.

Since when did bands that make "serious music" have to be serious all the time?

Joe Fielder said...

Hey, Duke. Nice piece. I don't agree with all your anti-picks (I loved Beirut and liked a few songs off The Hold Steady album), but I nodded my head along with most.

A lot of the hype makes me wonder why they were getting SO MUCH coverage while bands like Two Sheds, Doveman, and others have been virtually unnoticed.

Anyway, I guess it gives us more to write about ...

Passion of the Weiss said...

Anon #1-good pts and I can't say I disagree...it was just the interview got to be a bit much at times,to the point of where it stopped being funny and started being gross (I also felt that way about Borat at times, so it really has nothing to do with gay/straight whatever). Oh well, I still think the album's great.

Anonymous said...

anon #1 here
(I'm liking my new name)

What was so gross, that guys in France supposedly have big dicks?


Or the concept of the Knife being about penetration
What if that was what it was about, would it make you like the song more or less?

I guess it's time to head back in the closet!

Duke said...

if it wasn't for the internet, i would have never seen the OUT article. obviously it's their right to use a national magazine to talk about how big dudes dicks are if that's what they want to talk about in a national magazine. more importantly it's great that indie artists today feel comfortable enough to be openly gay. think about how long guys like bob mould, michael stipe and rob halford were in the closet....

Anonymous said...

exactly duke, I think it's both refreshing and good to see that kind of candid talk, it wasn't like in a pitchfork interview they were all "french men have HUGE dicks" out of the blue, it was in a gay magazine, and yes it's now on the internet ,but seeing your previous post, and Passion of the Weisse feeling grossed out by it and feeling that it was a mistake for them to talk their minds publicly, just seemed like a step in the wrong direction
If that makes any sense. Not that being gay is special, or talking about sex is good/bad

But certainly don't let it taint your decision to enjoy or not enjoy an album.

That would be...ummm....

X______________

fill in the blank

Passion of the Weiss said...

Obviously not...look it's my #9 album of the year on the Best of that I'm writing tomorrow...it obviously hasn't affected my enjoyment of the album, just the same way Allen Ginsberg and Arthur Rimbaud are two of my favorite writers and were open about their sexual preferences. But c'mon Grizzly Bearweren't exactly making a statement about being gay artists here, that's not what I'm saying I thought was a mistake. It's great that they're honest and open as Duke said. It just seemed a tad crass. The same way that Kanye seems crass when he makes stupid comments about how he only dates chicks that have great asses and are super skinny. It goes both ways.

Anonymous said...

yes, but I think there's something different there. Firstly, yes objectifying men, or women, is crass. However, it wasn't Owen singing about how he only dates french dudes with big dicks, he said his friend said franch men had big penises and they laughed about it.

Kayne will sing about it, to millions, or talk about it as he's on the cover of time. I just think the level of scrutiny placed on someone as influential and well known as kanye, vs. an obviously light hearted and deliberately silly conversation between two people for a gay publication about gay things, is different.

Glad to hear you still enjoy the album, but you can tell in the conversation neither of them are really sluts, or seriously about doing all that, they were just having a laugh.

Maybe I'm just defensive because I like both artist and enjoyed the article and am gay and see nothing wrong with it. I'm not sure, but I feel the kanye comparison is off base.

Passion of the Weiss said...

You know I made those first comments originally and didn't read as closely as I should've. My bad.Now that I've gone back and re-read it, I do see your points. It still does seem crass. But I don't think I caught the sarcasm and jokiness the first time I read it. That's what I get for skimming.

Anonymous said...

are we friends again?


:)


RAINBOW OF DIVERSITY

Passion of the Weiss said...

to quote saved by the bell: friends forever.

Anonymous said...

i agree on pretty much every single one you pointed out. even the ordering is perfect. funny the responses one gets for going against the hype, huh?

Anonymous said...

I gotta say I agree with you on Joanna Newsom. That's one crazy/wacky bitch. I mean, I know she's musically talented and all, but she should definitely have someone else doing the vocals for her records. Hah.

Then, I also agree that Warp Records has been signing all kinds of crappy artists in the past few years. They're going down the tubes a little as far as new artists and I really only like a handful of their new talent.

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